It's all happening!!

What do Big Bitch and I want more than anything? That's right! We want to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael and Leonardo, our brothas from anotha motha. We are pumped about their new movie.

Our brothas grew up in the sewer! We used to complain about our frequently dirty home!! What were we thinking? We needed vile living conditions in order to mutate to our potential!!

As you can see in the AWESOME picture below, Male Owner just cleaned our house, impeding our mutation process. It was totally nice of Male Owner to take pictures of us looking cool! We are getting really close to becoming ninja turtles!! Once Big Bitch finishes her mutation, she will be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Donatella Versace. I am going to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Jean-Paul Gaultier.


-- Spencer-Doogan

No apologies

Yeah, I am aggressive when it comes to feeding time. Yes, I will step on Spencer-Doogan's face and shove him out of the way. How do you think that I got to be so big? I mean, food pellets are really the highlight of each day and my goal is to get as many as I can each and every day.

I have heard Spencer and my owners talk about how "scary" I am during eating time. That is just great. Well, I am not backing down when it comes to getting the most pellets each day. I just wish that Spencer and my owners would notice that I am not always aggressive, bitchy and scary. I really try to be a good friend to Spencer. He is my best friend. I am also a very friendly to viewers. Little Caden appreciated my friendly side.
-- Big Bitch

Big Bitch and Caden

We're gay.

This year, our owners took a picture of us and sent it out in their Christmas cards. It was almost like they care about us. The whole thing was their reaction to all the Christmas cards with dog pictures that they had been receiving but we are still honored to be acknowledged. We love looking at the picture. We are big ol' turtles. When did we get this big?The funniest thing about the Christmas card picture is that for some reason, it helped our owners realize that we are gay. They finally realized that Big Bitch hasn't popped out any baby turtles. Nope, we haven't "mated." No WAY! Shoot, even if we were attracted to each other, this is hardly an adequate environment for raising little Doogans. I mean, in all fairness to the male owner, we do appreciate the cleaning that he does for us. Our female owners don't seem to be capable of cleaning our home.
-- Spencer-Doogan

Memories

Let's see. Well, my name is Spencer-Doogan and have had a few interesting moments in my life. I roamed around a big house in LA one time for 10 days. I eventually ended up standing out in the hall so that my owner would find me and feed me. I have pretty much just lived with girls, lots of them, and some cats. It is nice to have had a male owner move in. When I first met him he stacked Big Bitch (Cochise) and me on some little remote control cars. Yeah, he pushed go.

Lookin' back

Hi. My name is Cochise. Who woulda thunk - little old me, craning my neck to look out the window of an airplane. Well, it happened back in 2001 when my turtle friend, Jenny, and I were given to an owner who lived in Colorado. I loved that flight to Colorado. My owner held me up so that I could see out the window the whole time. That was the best day of my life. Several months later, my friend died and then that cat moved in. Several weeks after that, we moved to San Diego.