We're gay.

This year, our owners took a picture of us and sent it out in their Christmas cards. It was almost like they care about us. The whole thing was their reaction to all the Christmas cards with dog pictures that they had been receiving but we are still honored to be acknowledged. We love looking at the picture. We are big ol' turtles. When did we get this big?The funniest thing about the Christmas card picture is that for some reason, it helped our owners realize that we are gay. They finally realized that Big Bitch hasn't popped out any baby turtles. Nope, we haven't "mated." No WAY! Shoot, even if we were attracted to each other, this is hardly an adequate environment for raising little Doogans. I mean, in all fairness to the male owner, we do appreciate the cleaning that he does for us. Our female owners don't seem to be capable of cleaning our home.
-- Spencer-Doogan